A nightmare I can’t wake up from.

It feels like I’ve been watching myself get taken back over by Anorexia. It feels like one of those bad dreams you want to wake up from, but the reality is…I am awake & this is my life. Recently it feels as though I’ve been standing behind a mirrored window where I can see out,Continue reading “A nightmare I can’t wake up from.”

3rd-9th August ~ Twenty-Twenty.

Monday – I don’t feel as though I really did very much. I guess that’s okay some days. 🤷‍♀️ I got a lil bit of fresh air with my mum in the morning. In the afternoon.. I painted some more wooden sticks so that I can make some more fairy fences. 🎨🧚‍♀️ In the eveningContinue reading “3rd-9th August ~ Twenty-Twenty.”

Feeling so much that you feel nothing ~ Numb.

I’m not sure what I’m writing for right now…I’m just going to write. I feel nothing. I feel disconnected. I don’t feel real somehow. I’m not going to do something unhelpful about it, so I’m just here typing. Sometimes I get into this state when I feel emotionally hurt…it’s almost like my brain protects itself.Continue reading “Feeling so much that you feel nothing ~ Numb.”

Wednesday thoughts… ~ ‘Happy’ #humpday 🐪

My mind’s having a bit of a stress over life today, because I want to recover so much & it’s painful to still be constantly fighting it, but if that wasn’t already stressful enough…these flipping TV programmes that are being aired have left me feeling even more frustrated! I want to tell someone off forContinue reading “Wednesday thoughts… ~ ‘Happy’ #humpday 🐪”

27th July-2nd August ~ Twenty-Twenty.

Monday – Rain. Lots of rain! It was definitely an inside day. I had therapy this morning. I’d been struggling a bit mentally with a date. I feel the subject is a bit of a taboo subject, but also a necessary one because it’s a conversation that people feel awkward discussing. I also know thatContinue reading “27th July-2nd August ~ Twenty-Twenty.”

Migraines ~ Not ‘just’ a headache.

Anyone who’s had a true migraine will tell you that it isn’t simply a bad headache. If you have a bad headache…it’s not automatically a migraine. When I have a migraine attack it strikes down quick. Some people have warning signs where they have an aura (flashing lights) before the headache begins & then theContinue reading “Migraines ~ Not ‘just’ a headache.”

20th-26th July ~ Twenty-Twenty.

So Monday…I’ve already documented the 20th in a previous blog post – it was a bit of a right-off tbh, so my week started on Tuesday instead. 😂 Tuesday – I woke up feeling a lot better psychologically. Got up, showered & dressed straight away, so there was no loitering in bed allowing time forContinue reading “20th-26th July ~ Twenty-Twenty.”

13th-19th July ~ Twenty-Twenty.

I actually have more to say about this week than I thought I would. I’m mainly just typing this as a diary recap for myself if anything, so excuse the length & boringness of my life. 🙊😂 Monday – Would it even be a Monday without an AM appointment? 😆🤷‍♀️ When I have therapy IContinue reading “13th-19th July ~ Twenty-Twenty.”

Monday the twentieth of July, twenty-twenty.

I haven’t been writing as much down & I think it’s to do with lack of motivation. I feel the need to only write when my creative brain is working better & I have more energy to do so, but that also kind of defeats the purpose. The idea of therapeutic writing is to alsoContinue reading “Monday the twentieth of July, twenty-twenty.”

An illustration as to how recovery can feel…

(I spend too much time scrolling the Bitmoji app & saving the images to iCloud! 🙊😆) This is generally how recovery feels for me for the vast majority of the time. 😂🤦‍♀️ Wishing it would progress faster, but anorexia offering resistance too. It ultimately doesn’t matter how quickly or slowly your recovery progresses though…recovery shouldContinue reading “An illustration as to how recovery can feel…”